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Oh, I yust go nuts at
Christmas
On that yolly holiday
I’ll go in
the red like a knucklehead
Cuz I'll squander
all my pay.
Oh, I yust go
nuts at Christmas
Shopping sure drives me
berserk
On the day before, I rush in a
store
Like a pure bewildered
yerk.
I look at nightgowns for my
wife
Those black ones trimmed in red
But I
won’t know her size and so
She'll get a
carpet sweeper instead.
Oh I yust
go nuts at Christmas
When each kid hangs up
his sock
It's a time for kids to flip their
lids
While their papa goes in
hock.
On the
night before Christmas
It's still in the
house
My family is sleeping
So I'm quiet
like a mouse.
I look at
my watch and midnight is near
I think I'll
sneak off for a cold glass of beer
Down at
the corner the crowd is so merry
I end up by
drinking about 12 Tom & Yerry
I get to
bed late and gee whiz how I'm sleeping
When
on to my bed those darn kids they come
leaping
They sit on my face and they
yump on my belly
And I'm quivering all over
like a bowl full of yelly.
They
scream Merry Christmas, and my poor wife and
me
We stumble downstairs and she lights up
the tree
My head is exploding, my mouth
tastes like a pickle
I step on a skate and
fall on a tricycle.
Yust before Christmas
dinner I relax to a point
Then
relatives start swarming all over the
yoint
On Christmas I hug and I kiss my wife's
mother
The rest of the year we don't speak to
each other.
After dinner my Aunt and my
wife's Uncle Louie
Get into an argument;
their both awful screwy
Then all my wife's
family say Louie is right
And my goofy
relations, they yoin in the
fight.
Back in
the corner the radio is playing
And over the
racket Gabriel Heather is saying
"Peace on
earth everybody and good will toward men"
And
yust at that moment someone slugs Uncle
Ben.
They all run
outside whooping so the neighbors will
hear
Oh, I'm so glad Merry Christmas comes
yust once a year.
Oh, I
yust go nuts at Christmas
But I still have
lots of fun
Yust the same as you, I enyoy it
too
Merry Christmas
Everyone!
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